It was a list titled: LEALDADE POR.

" ..[they] noted all the reasons for loyalty:
Guilt toward the other; common steps of development; shared suffering; shared joy; solidarity of mortals; common intentions; common struggle against the outside; common strenghts, weaknesses; common need for closeness, common taste; common hatred; shared secrets; shared fantasies, dreams; shared enthusiasm, shared humor, shared heroes; common decisions made; common succeses, failures, victories, defeats; shared disappointments; common errors."

      jeez i love this book! anyways.. then it goes: 


"...he missed love on the list, said Gregorius..."

      and the other guy replies: 

"He didn't believe in it. Avoided even the word. Considered it kitsch. There were these three things, and only them, he used to say: desire, pleasure and security. And all of them were transitory. Most ephemeral was desire, then came pleasure and unfortunately, security, the feeling of being safe with someone also shattered eventually. The impositions of life, all the things we had to cope with, were simply too numerous and too powerful for our feelings to be able to weather them intact. Thats why loyalty was important. It was not a feeling, he thought, but a will, a decision, a partisanship of the soul...."


/This passage.. It changes your entire view on your relationships with others.
Love is not really love. Friendship is not really friendship;
It's "desire, pleasure and security".   ..according to book of course..