[allmypictureskindalookthesamedontthey??]

I know good things never last. We'll both never intentionally quit on our friendship, but i know it might fade out someday.. But when it does, i know i can look back on the good times we had. Times of no stress, no pressure and complete relaxment. I can be the person i really truly am on the inside with you: calm and down-to-earth.. also lazy and always late, and sometimes so energetic that you can barely keep up with me..
U can always come to me for talks or just for passing time or whatever. You can tell me our worries, thoughts, ideas, plans, questions and observations. You can challenge me with anything and i promise i'll try to keep up with you the best i can.
I know i might not be the perfect 'best friend' cuz we dont really share a mutual friends-group.. I know you try to introduce me, but I close up around strangers and whatever.. I dunno. I'm still reluctant in doing social activities a bit. But i'll come out of my shell some day? and i hope that you'll still be there.

And we'll still do all the traveling someday. Maybe this summer. We could travel with a bunch of people. Everyone i promised to travel with. All at once. Might be fun and interesting..

I dont know what else to write about atm.. lots of nice positive energy in me, but cant transform that energy into feelings and the feelings into words.

Listening to John Mayer - Free Fallin' over and over and over again in the train while writing this note..
I'm all mellow inside.. lol :)

Lifeisnotamovie

The romantic movies where people offer their help and be kind and just have a random chat with the foreigners and getting to know eathother.. Wouldnt it be so awesome if u could be that helping someone to a confused, lost and alone tourist? Or just TO BE that confused, lost and alone tourist and someone else really kindly offers u to help u out and guide you and go with u. wouldnt that be such an amazing experience?

There was a guy in the train the other day, perhaps from America, making a tour through Europe i think.. and wanting to go to Luxembourgh and Berlin by train. When he asked the train conductor for help and directions, he had to find out that there WERE no direct trains to Berlin (there used to be though..)
And if he wanted to reach Luxembourgh by tonight, he could take the train which only takes 3h to arrive at luxembourgh apparently. I assume that he's going to berlin via luxembourgh.. Anyways, it was apparently quite complicated and i just felt bad for him and felt like joining him and just accompany him on his journey. I wanted to be that helping person for that guy,, it might sound random and lame,, but i think it could've been nice? But naturally im way too chicken to offer my help to a complete stranger. No matter how badly i want it.. nonetheless, it would've been.. it couldve been so good.. for both of us i think, cuz im just bored, and wanting to do something fun and impulsive. and he wants to see europe i assume? what better way than MEETING someone from Europe?
(i know it wouldve been so insanely awesome if i met someone portuguese when i was visiting portugal.. i kinda did, indirectly - mica, but thats not the same :P cuz we didnt really get to know eachother until after i was back in NL ;))
[everyone probably thinks about "that foreign stranger" sometimes,,?]

anyway, opportunity is already lost anyways, since im not in that train anymore. So it doesnt really matter anyways. Plus, i had some other excuses like having to work that night, because my mom was in china while there was a big reservation.. so.. =/ yea

anyways. i think the feeling is also being encourages because of reading Night Train to Lisbon.. i'm reading so many recognisable things in that book.. its a good book :) bit difficult to read through maybe.. (it took me like half a year or more even, to finish the book Jane Eyre.. :P its not that i didnt like the book. i really like the ending. but there's a big part in the middle of the book that was just really really really boring to read after a while. i dunno :P it took me really long to do that, cuz i was always to lazy or falling asleep when reading it. [i read in bed before i sleep])

but yea. lots of nice interesting and recognisable things i read in Night Train to Lisbon.. i take pictures of every memorisable passage in that book, and im hoping to upload a few of those as well as a sort of introduction to the post i'll be talking about xD

ehh,, nothing else.. i'll save it for a next post. though fotolog is starting to annoy me a little bit now about the fact that im forced to uplaod a picture with every log..
so im kinda considering writing notes on facebook instead of on here. but im kinda scared, cuz i dont feel like showing everyone of my friends on there what i write.....
mmm.....

what makes u smart?
That you've had a good education and you're in possession of a good diploma? or that you have no diploma, but instead, you've only let internet educate you? or is it the fact that you've been educated by life. Experienced things that are strong enough to change your perspective on certain things.
the fact that you read a lot of books and thus know how to talk properly and understand a lot of difficult words?
are u smart if you know how to talk to a person and say the right things? to be a good socializer and improviser and smooth-talk your way into things?
what makes u smart? if you really are smart, would you SAY that you're smart? wouldn't you rather be humble instead? because, are you really actually smart if you just SAY you are? or would u just be pretending to be smart, when you're actually not that smart at all.. would u try to talk yourself up, or just be honest with urself?

im not saying im smart (cuz im really not that smart..). but im a humble person, so even if i were really talented in something (unfortunately, im not) i wouldn't go about telling every stranger i know.. i wouldnt even tell the not-strangers that im talented in something. let them find out for themselves, cuz the reward is so much greater and their amazement is so much more intense.



what makes u a man/woman/an adult?
are real men big, muscular and strong?
can real men be little, innocent and weak as well?
do clothes make the man? or does having a good income, an own place and financial independancy make a man? or are u a man when you're a responsible human being that takes nothing for granted..
are you a man if you make sacrifices for the ones you love, without telling them? are u a man when you lost your virginity? are you a man if you're 18+? are u a man if you know how to talk to and take care of a woman? if you're able to fight your needs, and to fight your own desires? to take things you dont want to take and to put up with things you dont want to put up with. To confront someone head-on and not be scared of anything?
are you a man if you refer to yourself as a man?? are you a man if you dont know how to make decisions on your own? what gets u there?

same goes for women though..
isnt your first visual thought of a woman someone that's so perfectly shaped, behaves lady-like, wears make-up, high heals and fancy clothing? is groomed in every single way and is lady-like to the very bone? the type of people that consider the outside to be more important than the inside.
But would you consider a 17year old girl a woman as well, when she's been through so much in her life, that she has to take care of a little kid-brother by responsibly taking on a full-time job as a waitress and a mother as well?
what if there's a 30 year old lady, living off of her parents and depending on them to feed her and give her money.. is she still considered a woman?

i dunno,, im just bored and started thinking about things.. i dont even have a decent picture for this i think.. mmm... =/

well, this picture is a bit bright compared to the log i just wrote xD but anyways.. picture was taken today in our backyard.. we have a little pond which has a pretty darn cool design. and since a week or something, i've noticed a yellow water plant that's really bright in colour.. so i decided to take some macro pictures of those :D