Bl-bl-blogg

pff, went to the hospital today to visit my aunt.. bleh, she was on the same floor as my dad used to be, a few years back..
i remembered so many things from back then.. i think it's been like 7years now? I remember the lobby.. the hallways.. those hospital-doors and all the whiteness.. i remembered the elevators and even the coffee-machine that was in the lobby.. and that hospital-smell... pff
when I was walking through the hall, I kinda had this feeling over me.. i dunno what it was.. it was mostly just emptiness.. I wasn't sure what i was feeling, but i felt the chills...
When we left again, we walked down the staircase.. and I kinda had this flashback to when I was so little.. I used to run around all laughing and playing on the staircases, not fully aware that it was a hospital.. and the kind of things that go down there... Not realising the seriousness of hospitals..
I can't imagine walking around happy in a hospital now... it just makes me feel sad.. especially when I walk through the hall where all the patients lie.. all lying in bed, sleeping or in pain even.. and I was so afraid of talking, even walking too loud today..
in these kind of situations, I tend to close myself off.. and everything in my mind goes black.. I say as little as possible, and mostly just stand there, observing..

I don't have any bad experiences or anything with hospitals.. my dad got out fine.. my aunt is going to be fine.. but I guess it's just the fact that I've spent quite some time in this hospital in the past.. and I've forgotten all about it.
It just all came back today. It's not a bad thing btw..
I actually think it's always good to be reminded of things in the past.. you shouldn't try and forget things in the past, because the entire experience would have be in vain..

anyways.. yea.. that's what i felt today.. just got home, and just felt like getting it off my chest...